Hillary Clinton Discovers the Evils of Political Correctness, Breitbart Sends Their Love

Based on recent campaign promotional comments by Madeleine Albright and Gloria Steinem, Hillary Clinton has become a staunch advocate of ridiculing political correctness, at least for now. Newscast Now analyzes all three statements and provides all three videos below.

This article is from the parody section, as if you can’t tell.

MADELEINE ALBRIGHT

“There’s a special place in hell for women who don’t help each other,” said former Secretary of State Madeleine Albright at a Hillary Clinton campaign stop. We sent our highest paid reporter directly to Hell to see this special place. We found a handicapped parking space with the name “Madeleine Albright” etched in eternal fire and brimstone awaiting her transition.

The Prince of Darkness told Newscast Now that Madeleine Albright will be placed in charge of a new segregated subdivision of Hell. “Mine Madeleine hath earned thine own special place long ago. I prepare for whence thine cometh with disciples especially for My bidding.” Lucifer then explained that Madeleine Albright had a uniquely commendable lack of remorse for the evil slaughter of hundreds of thousands of children and babies, making her one of the top ten 20th Century baby killers. Satan told us, “Mine hath only gained such Hellish Delight in infant massacre as Albright once per hundred anum.” Lucifer then laughed. “The price is worth it.”

And that price is a luxury accommodation in one of the deepest low-fallers in Hell.

GLORIA STEINEM

“When you’re young you’re thinking, you know, where are the boys? The boys are with Bernie,” said long-time women’s rights activist, Gloria Steinem, in a TV appearance to support Hillary over Bernie. The implication here we’re thinking, you know, is that Gloria believes young women are filled with female hormones and not thinking about what is good for them. They need an old lady to tell them how women should think. Or maybe a man should tell those little girls how to behave properly. In other words, Gloria mutated into a Christina Hoff Sommers feminist rather than a real women’s rights activist.

When Newscast Now attempted to question The Devil on Gloria Steinem, he became irate and blasted our reporter with a bolt of lightning, brimstone and fire, back to our posh Madison Avenue offices where we were left to speculate on the meaning of it all.

Here’s what it all means. As the above video makes clear, Gloria Steinem showed remorse for her atrocity. Madeleine Albright did not. Gloria Steinem may not be going to Hell at all. “Maybe if she would find a way to kill 500,000 children before she dies, she can still make it,” Ted Nugent tweeted, “Otherwise both these girls will be separated for eternity.”

POLITICAL CORRECTNESS

The press and so many armchair warriors posting and tweeting became intensely outraged and angry about the statements of Madeleine and Gloria. Hillary Clinton replied, “Well, good grief, we’re getting offended about everything these days. Honest to goodness. I mean, people can’t say anything without offending somebody.” Sites that have mocked political correctness for years including Breitbart sent Hillary a card and flowers, but did not report it at their website. This will soon be forgotten as Breitbart employee and self-described “always a liberal” Allum Bokhari will be back to writing headlines like “Hillary Clinton Authoritarianism” and articles Gloriasteinemifying Christina Hoff Sommers tomorrow.

UPDATE: We have late word that Madeleine Albright ate all the Breitbart flowers.

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