Barrack Obama, who slipped into the White House illegally when he arrived from Kenya, has now declared America his personal fiefdom where all guns will be banned by Executive Order, some say. Long lines formed at gun shops throughout the nation as good Americans rushed to buy a few dozen more weapons and ammunition before the coming deadline takes effect.
This article is from the parody section, as if you can’t tell.
It may be bad for the Second Amendment and for freedom, but it will be good for the economy and for the trade balance of the United States, both of which are more important than Constitutional platitudes, economists say.
Gun manufacturers, whose factories have been running 24-7 since rumors of this looming action reached the grapevine, have come up with a plan. Guns will be boxed up and sent to Libya and Syria where international humanitarian aid money lay idle waiting for just the right goods to fill the basic needs of tired war-drenched populations. Guns are just the thing to bring them all up to American standards.
Supporters of the order are joyful that no additional guns will be added to the 300,000,000 guns that exist now. Within about 400 years most of those guns will be gone, and “our children will finally be safe,” sighed one orange-haired college student. In the meantime, the word ‘gun’ should be banned from the language.
Opponents of the order are panicking in a rush to buy more guns before the deadline. One shopper told us, “I have five people in my family, but we only have five guns. Five people’s ten hands so we need eight more guns — one for each hand.”
Economists are elated. The boom of economic activity in these two destination nations is just what is needed to develop their economies and give those people something to do other than just killing people constantly. It’s a win-win. A rising boat lifts all tides.
Editor’s note: the first sentence of this article is a summary of the views of a gun advocate interviewed for the story. These are not the official views of Newscast Now. We added the words “some say” to clarify.