A Greenbelt, Maryland judge was stunned in court yesterday after a defendant acted irrational.
The defendant was shocked that his outlandish banshee wailing in court could actually get the judge suspended.
“Everyone was shocked!” said a court stenographer. “All pandemonium broke loose! The court officer intentionally tased the defendant right in front of everyone!”
The courtroom was closed to the public during the incident.
This article is from the parody section, as if you can’t tell.
An insider revealed; “We knew it wasn’t going to be a good day when we noticed that all the cameras in the court stopped working except for camera number 3 which only worked for one minute and 37 seconds… Enough time to catch the shocking event but not what happened before that led up to or after the devastating, horrific, horrible distraction.”
“I am confused why everyone calls this a civil rights crime.” Said Honorable, Upstanding Judge Robert C. Nalley of La Plata (“the plate” in Spanish). “They all keep insisting I singled him out because he’s colored. They don’t understand that when I gave the order to stun the gentleman, it shocked EVERYBODY EQUALLY.”
Mr. Justice rambled on; “I’m not prejudice against anyone. It’s just that those people are so used to being tased that we had to up the amps a little (51,475 volts). It’s only natural. I can’t fix all God’s mistakes. Now I get probation and the black man gets away with acting as usual; screaming and flailing about in a court of justice!”
When asked what he thought about the $5000 fine he was ordered to pay, Judge Nalley replied; “Off the record? It’s not so bad. It’s a small sum compared to all the fines I collect from those people all those years I was disgusted on the bench.”
An Assistant District Attorney who wishes his name to be withheld because he “works for the public,” said, “Somebody wet their pants but I’m not at liberty to say who. It would be considered politically prejudicial by certain NAACP parties.”
A defendant during the court proceedings, Delvon King, was also stunned. Mr. Devlon was in the midst of the preamble of his world philosophy at the time. He carried on, dressed in a fresh white shirt, business slacks and relic dreadlocks.
It is not known at this time if Mr. King is related to Rodney in any way, shape, or criminal lifestyle, although they both sound the same.