We put together our most spectacular and terrible predictions for 2016 on a wide range of topics. There is something for everyone. Here we go:

Spectacular: Mexico will build a huge wall to put a stop once and for all to American criminals being sent over. The wall will also be designed to stop an outbreak of the now-common affluenza virus.

Terrible: Caitlyn Jenner will choose to transition back to male after disclosing a Bill Cosby experience.

This article is from the parody section, as if you can’t tell.

Spectacular: Michael Dukakis will announce his candidacy for the presidential election just after the New Hampshire primary. He will become the front runner after winning most early primaries.

Terrible: Justin Bieber and Adele will announce a date for marriage early in the year. The couple will give birth to quadruplets in November. They will name the children Paul, John, Ringo and Fred.

Spectacular: The long-rumored lost articles of the US Constitution will finally be discovered, under a cherry tree stump. America will be transformed.

Terrible: There will be winners of the Superbowl and the World Series. The stock market will close at a number. A movie will win the Oscar for best picture. 2016 will end in a countdown to 2017.

Spectacular: Democrats will shun SJW censors and Republicans will shun racists.

Terrible: Nothing will be done to promote social justice and the percentage of racists in the population will remain exactly the same.

Spectacular: This cheap champagne the boss supplied will give the staff at Newscast Now a big hangover and there will be no new articles for nearly a week. People will be thrust back into the dark ages.

Terrible: The year 2016 will not pass until all of these things have happened.

Photo credits: featured photo RT.com, second photo here.