“All I wanted was to have my outsides match my insides. I wanted to be the Asian princess that I knew I was. Now look at me,” said patient Rachel Dolezal, holding back her tears. Instead of appearing as an Asian woman, she says, she looks more like a white man, as pictured below.

The doctor who performed the transition procedure was Dr. Conrad Murray, one of the leading transition surgeons in the world. He became famous after he transitioned a major cultural figure from black to white, then from living to dead. In those days, gender transitions were possible, but racial or ethnic transitions were virtually unknown.

This article is from the parody section, as if you can’t tell.

Today, thanks to Dr. Murray’s leading research, stories about successful transitions are becoming common place. Everyone around seems to know a relative, neighbor or friend who has been through a non-traditional transition — a transition involving a change in addition to or other than merely gender. Stefonknee Wolschtt, a man in his forties has become a six-year-old girl. A nice couple adopted the little girl. She now plays with her new sister.

Rachel Dolezal is suing Dr. Murray for an undisclosed amount. Dolezal alleges that Dr. Murray knew Rachel was an Asian princess inside, but the results of the surgery speak for themselves — gross negligence. Dr. Conrad Murray has filed an answer. “We will present signed papers where Ms. Dolezal indicated that she was a black woman. In fact, she was born ethnically white. White-to-Asian transition surgery requires a very different process than black-to-Asian surgery. The negligence was her own.”

Our crack team of investigators dug deeper than a scalpel and made the dangerous trip all the way to the search engine to reveal Rachel’s history. She was born a white woman, pictured. Before the transition, she sued a college for discrimination against white people. Then she transitioned to black. She also became a major activist and chapter leader at the NAACP. She was eventually exposed as a formerly white person, but refused to admit it. Her parents admitted it. The controversy consumed the black community. She stepped down from the NAACP. Finally, Rachel herself admitted she was born white. She then realized she was truly an Asian woman inside.

After much reflection and many broken mirrors, Rachel is now considering transitioning to who she discovered she really is inside, a kangaroo. She feels great affinity for hopping around and putting tissues in her pouch. She expects to use the settlement money to finally make her dreams come true, once and for all (until the next time).

It is always difficult to sue a doctor of malpractice, and Rachel will have an uphill battle. Dr. Murray’s defense team has enlisted Rachel’s parents in his defense. Her father told Newscast Now, “We didn’t like the transition to a black woman. We like her new look now though. She looks presidential. With her history of leading the NAACP chapter, she has the resume and the looks to run for higher office.”