Some two years ago, large numbers of users had enough with unaccountable anonymous anti-free speech cancer mods and began to leave the site Reddit in droves to spew at Voat.co, a similarly designed site where censorship would not be so severe. Last year, when Reddit mass-banned subsections of the site (aka “subreddits” or “subs”), the influx to Voat.co was so great that the servers crashed, burned, caused a tornado in Tennessee and sucked up all the user donations to the site. Eventually, the owners or “admins” of Voat.co got things back together and the site ran again. Things went fine for a while until this morning.

This article is from the parody section, as if you can’t tell.

Yesterday afternoon, the admins of Voat.co, known as user names @Atko and @PuttItOut, completed an agreement to sell the newer site to an undisclosed party with a covenant to continue allowing “free speech” on the site. Once the transaction was completed, and under coding of darkness, the new owner went to work quickly to redesign the site without asking the users for input. Some changes are already up today.

An investigation of Hillary emails at the WikiLeaks site revealed that the undisclosed principal in the transaction was the experienced media executive Ellen Pao, a former Reddit CEO. A Newscast Now reporter tracked her down. She was found sticking her tongue out and making faces at people near a Donald Trump rally. We asked her why she purchased Voat.co.

I just missed all the attention. One day I was the notorious Chaiman Pao. Everybody cared. The next day I was nothing. Forgotten. I came to need the troll hive mind. I felt so alive. The censorship didn’t stop when I left because I wasn’t behind it. Anyway, I don’t plan on censoring Voat but I plan on threatening censorship constantly. I look forward to being the entire top 10 on the front page again. I’m gonna be somebody again. I promise.

At the request of Newscast Now, the former owners, Atko and PuttItOut, agreed to an interview on their new yacht out at sea. As we basked in the warm Mediterranean sun, drinking margaritas while gorgeous Geisha girls fanned us and rubbed our feet, we talked about the transaction.

NCN: Do you think that the users will stay under the new ownership?

PuttItOut: Look at that beautiful sunset. Ah, this is the life.

NCN: What if the new owners do away with free speech?

PuttItOut: Have another slice of Kiwi passion fruit. Man, that’s good.

Atko just sat there smiling wider than a mustache. He never said a word.