With Entrepreneur publishing its article “10 Hilarious Signs You Should Not Take That Job (Infographic),” we discovered that you might not see the “hilarious” aspect in it because you would be glad to take “that job.” Let’s get serious now. Here goes …
This article is from the parody section, as if you can’t tell.
Looking for a job is like groveling and selling your soul to the devil. If you don’t capitulate, you could end up without a home.
Just think, eight hours a day of sheer misery could feed your family. And you will take the job because those eight hours are better spent taking orders from a boss than dealing with the bitching and crying of a starving family in the cardboard box or blue tarp under the bridge.
Yes, when you interview, you’ll be on the lookout for anything to suck up to the interviewer. You’ll scope out the company for telltale signs of exactly what they want and spit back knowledge while faking interest, and you’ll end up with a job that sucks less than the bread line (if you can find one).
If an interviewer ever says something completely back-assward like “We’re looking for a Justin Belieber fan who eats and sleeps broccoli recipes,” you will sing “baby baby baby” and describe your latest green delights.
Just in case you think you can job hunt with blinders on, or are beyond giving up all pride and autonomy for broccoli, check out the infographic below. It’s chock full of inspiration to remind you that red flags have no place in job hunting in the current market. We do what we’re told. In a word: “freedom.”
Sign 1: You have crying babies at home and they need to be fed multiple times per day. Do it for the children.
Sign 2: After you created all those lovable accidents, your wife turned into a prudish money monster. Do it for family peace.
Sign 3: There is No Occupancy left under the bridge. That one guy with the fangs doesn’t like you anyway. Do it for your community.
Sign 4: Jobs are harder and harder to find with the labor participation rate falling, or you live in Detroit where jobs are particularly scarce. Just do it.
Sign 5: It’s the American way. Get a job already, bum. You’ll take what we pay or we’re off to China.
Picture credits: first, second, third, fourth child, wife before children, after children, bridge, Detroit.